Well thank you Simon bloody Cowell for yet again polluting our idea of Christmas with another of your insipid, no talent, no excitement, shit-idol winners.
This year's Christmas #1 is that bland bloke off the X-Factor.
Do you remember when Christmas number 1s used to be exciting things? Do you remember the words to all of the great Christmas songs? Does the memory of Wham's last Christmas or Band Aid or Slade bring back happy Christmas memories?
They do for me. I can sing along happily with them all, reliving Christmases past and present. But Molly can't. Molly wont have that same memory of Christmas because so far, all she knows about the Christmas number 1 is that it's always some talentless talent show winner. There's nothing special, nothing memorable about it.
The one ray of light in all this talentless show gloom is that this year the chart is awash with old Christmas songs, proving to all and sundry what a Christmas number one should be about.