I alluded to the crappy mood I've been in these last couple of days in the little Christmas report a couple of days ago. But I still can't really do any more than that. It's one of those strange, reasonless depressed states that I seem to fall victim to so easily.
It's been a strange Christmas holiday really. Very low key. Molly has loved it all of course, and Louise had more time off than she normally gets and enjoyed it as well. But me? I let things get to me more than I should have done, got too stressed out and fed up with things, hit a bout of depression head on just after the big day and just about kicked it in time for New Years.
The house has been playing up again. Again. Some days I really feel we just can't catch a break with this and there are times when I really feel that, although I wouldn't change where we live in terms of the town, I'd certainly change where we live in terms of the house. The roof still leaks and the outside walls are showing a few signs of the water penetration coming back. The main problem lies with confidence in the builder. He's messed us around so much over the 18 months that this has all been going on that if he were to turn up tomorrow and tell me the sky is blue I'd not only go and check but I'd want a second opinion on it.
We're deep in the complaints procedure with the NHBC at the moment and it really looked for a while that the builder had completely washed his hands of us. Which was great. That meant that the NHBC would have to sort out their contractors to come in and put things right. I'd get my second opinion and all would be well. But then builder boy comes in at the very last minute and says he's possibly going to be able to sort it out. Not great.
Like every big organisation the NHBC just loves it's rules and notice periods. So it has to give the builder another couple of weeks to organise something. I'm really hoping that he doesn't bother. But he'll just end up getting in touch at the very last minute and stringing it out again. And then if he fixes it and tells me it's all okay this time, I'm going to be left wondering if it really is. After all, he's said it was all sorted last time. And the time before that. And the time before that. And the time .....
You get the idea.
Hence no confidence in what he says. We're seriously considering spending the extra money to get someone independent in if the original builder does do something. It's worth the extra expense just to have that peace of mind.
In fact, if I had one real wish for 2009, it would be just that: peace of mind over the house. I've spent the better part of two years continually worrying about something or other to do with the house and i'd just like the worry to stop.
So that rather sullied the wonderful christmastime I was planning on having. Maybe this time next year I'll be able to look back on the season with a lighter heart and more enjoyment. Yes, there's always next year.