It occurred to me the other day that the whole parenting thing could be summed up very simply:
You've got this beautiful little person for 18 years;
Don't Fuck It Up.
Simple really. But the most difficult thing you'll ever do.
This occurred to me one night after popping into Tescos for some milk and veg and watching the moms and dads shouting at their children and dragging them along the aisles.
Never fails to amaze me about some parents.
Why the hell do these bloody people insist on having four or more kids if they don't even particularly like children?
They can be seen walking down the road, one or more buggies, two dirty looking kids hanging off the side of the buggy. Mom's on the mobile, Dad's on the mobile, they're screaming at each other and screaming at the kids, the kids are out of control.
& I'm crossing the road to avoid them.
I'm not the world's greatest parent but I think I'm pretty damn good.
I love my daughter and I genuinely like her. And most importantly Molly thinks I'm great.
But some things are so bloody obvious.
Talk to your children - on their level - kneel down and talk to them, don't shout, talk.
Lay down rules. Stick to them.
& most importantly - try to bloody like them.
& Maybe, just maybe, if you find out after child #1 that you really don't like children;