Saturday, July 01, 2006

In the news today / how the hse should respond to most callers...

Heard on local news today:

After a complaint from a member of the public, the HSE investigated and have found the Livestock Auctioneer at Hereford livestock market to be too loud.

This is how the initial conversation should have gone:

Member of public:
Hello, I'd like to make a complaint about excessive noise.
Yes sir, what is your complaint?
Member of public:
The auctioneer's voice at Hereford livestock market is just too loud.
Oh, fuck right off you stupid little man.

That's how it should have gone. Unfortunately for us we live in the sort of imbecilic world where the HSE has to investigate this sort of thing. But it's not their fault. It's yours for complaining about these stupid things.
So here is your mission for the day. Next time some pillock in the street asks you if you've had an accident or injury at work tell them to fuck off.
That is all.



    See this unusually balanced article from the Times

    Are you sure this is true?
    Are you sure this is HSE?

  2. Hi Gareth,
    as far as I know it's true.
    but it was local news, so it may be completely made up to fill a crap news day.

    however, the truth of the article isn't really the point, it's more important to realise that there's always some twat out there willing to use H&S to justify some piece of stupidity.