Just had Yorkshire Water around to have a look at our water meter. It's fine, no leaks and everything as normal. Which is good, because, as I'm sure those of you who know me have realised, I was imagining a river of water battering the foundations of the house and the whole thing slowly collapsing, sandcastle like into the ground.
But that does lead me to the question; what the hell were we doing in the first month that meant we used 24 cubic metres of water in 38 days. I know it doesn't sound like much, but that's 24,000 litres of water. Or, if you prefer, 300 baths, or flushing the toilet 3000 times. Now I know my parents were here for a couple of days, and I am aware how long mom can spend in the bathroom morning and night (hi mom) but even she couldn't take more than 6 baths in 2 days.
Maybe the previous owners had a secret swimming pool in the back garden. Covered over by the lawn. At the flick of a switch it would emerge, just like they did in the Thunderbirds. At least that would explain the bizarre spare switches we keep finding all over the place. I found one yesterday in the spare room built in wardrobe, next to a double socket and an aerial point that we hadn't noticed before.
Oh the joys of water meters. The only good news is that we appear to have lost the secret swimming pool in the last few days. After that initial spike of water consumption, we have calmed down. Only 2 cubic litres in 10 days since the bill. That's more like it.