A mounting feeling of stress is hitting me tonight.
The main reason being several very silly ones....
Tomorrow is my first afternoon doing guided reading with my year 3 group. This is the group that my Year 3 pupil whom I look after in the afternoons belongs to. And even though he's not here until June, the teacher has asked me to take the group. I know it's only 20 minutes, I know it's only 4 pupils, I know it's just reading, I know it's nothing more that what I do almost every day with Molly, but it's still got me on edge.
I'm stressing over sorting out training courses to do my TA NVQ Level 2. You wouldn't believe sometimes how difficult it is to find out relevant information.
The latest thing was being told by the relevant education bod that I really should get onto the TA induction course. It's 5 Thursdays in summer term, 9-4 at Hull. Fantastic. Not a chance I can make them properly. Even if school feel like giving me time off, then the earliest I could get there would be 10 and even if Molly's doing netball those nights I'd still have to leave by 3 to make it back to pick her up. Bah.
And of course, finally, I'm now beginning to get jittery over whether or not I'm actually doing the right thing. The problem here is that it's very far out of my comfort zone. Which, to be fair, is exactly what the ICT technician job was when I started that.
But somehow the responsibility of looking after one Year 3 pupil for the afternoons is really beginning to scare me.
Or maybe it's just tonight.
I don't know.