Thursday, July 05, 2007

Warren Ellis' Bad Signal .........

Bad Signal is Warren Ellis' e-mail mailing list.
Basically Warren sits in the pub and vents at the world on whatever handheld device he's playing with at the time.
It's usually interesting, today was a perfect example of the sort of things you'll get:

1) I will not get you a job.

2) I will not give you money.
2a) Unless your services are, you know, *extraordinary*.

3) I will not do your homework for you.
3a) Yes, your thesis is your bloody homework. Get a job.
3b) And, let's face it, if your thesis depends (as so many requests seem to do) on me spending 1000 words telling you what I think of some superboy comic you want me to talk about, you're heading for a life of disappointment and emptiness and you are going to die confused and crying.
3c) And yes, I can tell when said request is actually a thinly disguised
attempt to get an interview for your poxy website.
4) I will not advise you on your writing.
4a) I will not, no, stop everything to help you come up with the correct sound effect for someone shitting themselves.
5) I will not take you on as my apprentice.

5a) I will not take you on as my "filthy assistant."
5b) Well, okay, I might take you on as my "filthy assistant.". But I shouldn't. I'd have to hide you in a secret apartment and stuff, and, you know...
-- W

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