God I hate some people......

We were out today at Burton Agnes Hall & Gardens. Had a lovely time, big house, pretty paintings, maze, gardens, tea-room, adventure playground. A very nice bank holiday day out.

But there was this really, really anoying woman. First she put me out by being loud and annoyingly twatish in the queue for drinks. She was that sort of expensively dressed lady who doesn't really do anything, just lets hubby go out to work while she muddles her way through the children's routine, trying to avoid getting completely drunk at lunch when she meets up with the girls and talks about clothes and how disgusting it is that the maid's asking for the minimum wage.

But what really got to me, what really made me want to get up and start shouting at her and her carpet of a husband happened later. We're sat down at the table next to twatty woman's family and friends. Both Molly and our kids are off playing in the playground. We're enjoying our drinks. The sun is out, the sky is blue and everything at that precise moment couldn't be nicer thank you very much.

But twatty woman isn't with her family, she's off in the garden shop. But she waddles back into the scene clutching two plants. Obviously intending to get Manual the gardener to do something with them later as she congratulates herself on how nice her garden is loooking.

Then with a booming and very, very annoying voice she bellows across the courtyard.....

"Have you got the children?"

Unfortunately I can't really get over the tone she asked this in, but her disdain, her obvious dislike of her husband and her belief that she, and she only, could possibly manage to do the job of looking after the kids was dripping from every syllable.

Obviously the blokes at the table haven't got the bloody children, the bloody children are having a wonderful time at the bloody playground away from that bloody woman they have to call "mother".

My first response was to look across at her and bellow back......
"What kids?
I thought they were with you,
Oh fuck, someones stolen them,
oh curse me for being such a useless man,
I should never have thought I could do the job you're obviously so good at,
I shall just go off and find them,
although no doubt you'll be better at that as well"

After that we had more words. Then it all goes into a blur of fists, shouting, flashing blue lights, police vans, a lot of tutting and a small room to myself for a while.
Oh alright, that last bit's not true. I never said it outloud. But I did think it in an angry fashion. But Christ, she was bloody annoying.